My son is four years old and he has been receiving Early Intervention since he was 18 months old. I think in the beginning I went through many phases. These included denial, anger, sadness and many more. At this point I struggle to try to look for the positive in my situation. J asked me how I can think about Autism the way I do and I was a little stumped by the question. I really am trying to be honest here. I wanted to tell her what I knew she needed to hear. It was hard though because even though I can speak the talk, I cannot always walk the walk.
It seems that I have been in a very positive mode lately with my writing. Trust me that is not always so. I do not want you to feel at all as if you are the only frazzled and overwhelmed mom. Actually when i started this blog it was my hope to share with you the ups and downs. I don't want to sugar coat things and I don't want it to just be about my son. This blog was meant to be about all of my family. My son's difficulties cause difficulties with the whole dynamic of a household. I cannot seem to spend the same amount of time with my other children because he is so demanding.
How did you cope when you first got your diagnosis? Were you sad? Angry? If any of you were like me you felt all of your emotions and they were off the rictor scale. I would be calm one minute and crying the next. Does it get easier to manage? I guess this depends on when you speak to me. If things are good at the moment, I seem in control, but it isn't always like that and being I cannot sit at my computer and blog while he is in midst of a meltdown I guess I do not always accurately describe the anguish I go through every day.
I hope that you as a parent will read my blog and take something out of it. I am angry. I do ask, "Why my son?". But in reality, if that is all I can focus on what am I accomplishing? Have faith in your child. Push them to take that extra step. Try not to lose sight of what they are capable of (sometimes they can amaze you) instead of focusing on what they can not. This isn't easy, AT ALL, but it does help you to cope and keep on going. Take your anger and put it towards something positive. Anger can be good, it motivates you, not to cure your child, but use it to advocate for him. Learn acceptance... that is the best gift Autism can give you. It is a struggle everyday to see things through my son's eyes, but it is wonderful when I can understand how he is feeling. Again, while it isn't easy, it is amazing and you can do it.
Let's reach out to the new parents going through what we have once gone through ourselves. I welcome Jennifer into a part of my life, a neighbor on my sometimes lonely planet and as a mom who can understand. Hang in there. It is a long road and a process that seemingly never ends, but as you move beyond the grief you can see the rainbow. Posting the blog post about your son was one more step towards acceptance. I am here to chat anytime and I am sending hugs to you and your family. I would also suggest that you find a local Autism Spectrum Support Group. This is a very helpful support to have. 
1 comment:
Wow,this was a great write. I think we all find ourselves at one point focusing on the most demanding child. It is hard not to. Our world revolves around them and sometimes the other kids kinda get lost in it. The fact that you recognize this is what counts.
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