Autism As A Whole

How are family gatherings for you with your special needs child? Do you cringe like I do with the thought of going to someone else's house and around a bunch of people? These things are actually kinda scary for me. Then I have to wonder how he will react to things. Will he say thank you and smile when given a present? Will he have a major melt on their kitchen floor? Are these normal concerns? How do you prepare for holiday gatherings?

Yesterday we went to a family dinner, I know scary right? Actually the dinner part went really well and my sister was sure to have a drink that Charlie could have and would like. This shows some awareness and I am so grateful for that. She even made sure that he had a quiet place to go when he felt overwhelmed. She is really good with him. They used their best China (paper plates) which worked wonderful. Not only did it save her on dishes but it made it easier for Charlie cause he didn't have to deal with the noises from the silverware on glass plates. Whew, one more accommodation that, although there were other reasons for it, made it easier for him to cope with the gathering. My sister even turned the music off so that Charlie could eat at the table without his head phones.

Charlie did extremely well last night. I was impressed. He sat at the table and attempted to eat. He ate a lot of sweet potatoes and even attempted to try the Manicotti. Dinner was great very tasty, and it even included a little conversation. Some of this provided by Charlie telling his Auntie that he could eat sweet Potatoes all day long. Mind you he said this quite loud but nobody seemed to mind. Hey, it is better than him screeching or crying right? He then retreated to a room by himself to play in a quiet zone. He was playing with my nephews stuffed animals and talking to himself. It was really cute.

Present time, which happened before dinner was interesting. My kids sat down together to open presents and Charlie was opening but not really excitedly and not paying much attention to what he was opening. It appeared that he wasn't happy with it and that made my sister question her choice for him. Just so you know, he loved it. He just can't express it. He didn't smile, just took his box and walked away. No thank you or anything. I know, that was my big concern. Was he going to appear to be rude or ungrateful?

My sister, a little thrown off my Charlie's reaction, or lack of, decided to take him to a quiet place and open the box. They went into another room and opened it. It was a huge Sponge Bob floor puzzle. The floor puzzles have been an all around wonderful gift for Charlie that he enjoys a lot. His Auntie has been getting him them cause he enjoys them so much. It has kind of become a traditional gift for the two of them. I haven't told her, but I thought about purchasing one for Charlie for Christmas and opted not to in hopes that she would get him another one. She did and when they sat down together to put it together he was so happy. The evening went spectacular at her house.

The over stimulation really kicked in when we left. He had a melt down in the car because we unbuckled him and he couldn't find one of his stuffies. It is ok... we found it. *sigh* When we got home he flipped because he was asleep and we unbuckled him. Oh My he was kicking his feet and screaming like crazy. I wonder what the neighbors thought. Wait, they are accustomed to it now. LOL.. I remember when we first moved here and after a month the lady across the street asked me if everything was OK over here.

I tried really hard to calm him and pick him up but his arms and legs were thrashing inside the car and it was not possible. Meanwhile his sister was sitting on the other side of the seat dodging the feet that were flying towards her face. I, overwhelmed by this, yelled at her to get out. Looking back on the situation, I know that she was probably just as overwhelmed as I was and couldn't process getting out of the car. My boyfriend lifted him out of the car and I looked for the stuffie. I found it and brought it inside.

There in the foyer, was my son screaming at the top of his lungs. I picked him up and rocked him back and forth. He was still so upset so I proceeded to carry this screaming and kicking child up the stairs. I put him in bed and eventually he calmed down and went to sleep. I can't say that was the end because he woke up screaming in a complete night terror mode at 3:30 am. This lasted for an hour and a half. We fell asleep together but I was on the bottom of the bed because he did not want to be touched.

The gathering went very well and I guess even though I felt the aftermath, my son was able to keep it all together for the party. It shows that he is comfortable to let loose while at home and maybe he is learning how to control his behavior in public. All, I know is I was overwhelmed and tired but, I am proud of my son and his strength to get through  such a stimulating event.

If This Is Motherhood recently posted a blog about describing your gifted or special needs child so that it would be easier to explain to the teachers how they can help your child. I thought it would be a great and insightful exercise  to participate in and I encourage others to join along as well. It might be more effective to give the teachers a descriptive of your child to educate them on how to teach them. What do you think? I challenge you to hop on board and join the linksy.

I guess we can't complain about the public school system if we are not willing to look for solutions. I advocate strongly for my son and even though at times I do not feel as if my son's teacher even cares to listen, I know that I have done everything I could do to make his schooling experience as individualized as possible. I gave them the knowledge to teach my son. You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink. If you don't tell them what the child needs then they guess throughout the year. At least I pointed them in the right direction. That is my job, it is their job to follow through on it.

My son is four years old and ... wow, this is harder than I thought. Charles loves to build and do puzzles. He is a visual learner and works best with hands on work. It is best to visually show him what you expect him to do then just give a verbal direction. He needs a lot of redirection. Sometimes it may seem that he is not listening  as he tends to zone off into his safe world. It is beneficial to try to reengage him into the activity. He has a hard time focusing with noises and other things going on. When he is in a large group he feels awkward which causes him to engage in self stimming behaviors such as chewing on his clothes or picking his neck. A lot of redirection and visual cues are detrimental to his learning. Encouragement rather then discouragement. My son wants to interact with other children he just doesn't know how. I find it helpful to encourage him by example. Encourage him to ask for a toy from another child or give him suggestions for conversation. He is a smart and very passive child.

I am not entirely sure if I have done this exercise correctly but I tried. I encourage you to attempt it as well. Enjoy!!
If you choose to join the hop, which I strongly urge you do, click on the linksy!!