Autism As A Whole

Today was a pretty good day. Charlie was very talkative and active. He did seem to get upset very easy and has been having accidents a lot lately. He just isn't making it to the bathroom and is extremely attached to his beloved pillowcase. The pillowcase was at the point where he only needed it at night but he is bringing it everywhere again.

Charles also had horse therapy today and was very unfocused. His therapist could not keep him on task. He was also parroting a lot. She worked on his counting skills which he has a lot of difficulties with. He cannot count over 5 and sometimes he still messes that up. It is a little frustrating as a mom to know that you work on these skills everyday with him and he still isn't learning them. That make me feel incompetent. I know it isn't really like that but it is a feeling that I do have. You know sort of like the ,"Why my son? What did I do wrong" Just the self pity I tend to fall into occasionally. It happens to the best of us right. Most of the times when I am feeling like this is right after a meeting or testing score. That is when it all just smacks me in the face. Well, th night didn't end there.

He has his moments and at times I do not know how to handle him. It is amazing how other people can approach the child with the same options I would be able to do but it works for them. My son wanted Yogurt for snack tomorrow but I forgot my wallet at home so it was impossible to get him it. We got home and someone offered him crackers with cheese and cereal which he was all for having. I think sometimes I cannot even think straight to offer up other solutions. I would have chosen go home get the wallet and buy the yogurt, but that would not have been reasonable and would have shown my son that screaming like a banshee would get him what he wanted. So, we came home and he was offered some choices which he willingly made a choice and with a smile on his face. It is nice to see that occasionally my son can interact with someone else in a positive manner. I thank those who will take that time when I have seemingly had all I could take. People who can maintain the calm that I happened to lose for the moment.

It has been a really tough week. It has been filled with meltdowns and screaming. These are the times that I realize how different my planet is since we fell off of Earth. The intense tantruming and lack of self control that he is exhibiting is driving me insane. Everyone in my house feels like they have to walk on egg shells.  I know I usually have positive posts and an enlightening way to look at it but I just feel very overwhelmed today.

Yesterday when Charlie woke up he was upset because he had an accident. I instantly tried to calm him and stripped the bedding off the bed so that it could be washed. He started screaming and yelling that I messed his bed and for me to put it back. I carried him downstairs to give him a shower and he was kicking and screaming. This lasted a while. He ran into the kitchen and was banging his head on the cabinets screaming that I messed the bed. He wanted me to fix it. But, he didn't want the wet spot on his bed either. It was a no win situation.

He quivered when I touched him as he swatted my hand away. I felt helpless. I didn't know how to reach him and he was so upset. As a mom, I wanted to hold him and tell him it was ok but he was not receptive to it. I hate it when he gets like this. After about 15 minutes he came into the bathroom but was still screaming and yelling. He was putting his hands on the toilet banging his head into his hands. I lifted him up and put him in the warm shower. He screamed some more but calmed quickly into the water. He didn't want his hair wet or washed. I didn't attempt to piss him off any more. LOL.. The back of his hair got a little wet and as I put his shirt on he started flapping his hands because he felt the wetness on his hair which then gave a damp feel to the collar of his shirt. Mind you all of this is occurring at 7 am in the morning, and I haven't even finished my cup of coffee, which by the way is cold.

He was really upset that the collar was wet but we moved past that really quickly. His eggs, which I prepared while he was in the shower, were waiting at the table and he started eating them right away. He wanted his show on which was fine. Then it was time for the bus. I was silently hoping this would be a calm event. Well, my thoughts were completely opposite to what would occur next. As I went to put him on the bus he discovered that his comfy, you know the one the teacher doesn't want him to have, was in the house. He started crying and fell to the ground. I got him up and coaxed him on the bus. The driver said that he could get his comfy when he got back home. That did not work!! He threw a fit on the bus and she pulled over and called for me to bring his comfy out. LOL... Guess he does need it.

Well, now that I am done ranting about how horrible I felt. I wanted to say thanks for the get well wishes, I am still pretty sick but a little better than yesterday. Charlie's morning today was much better than yesterday's. Hopefully the whole day will go this smooth.

Today started out as a little hectic. Charlie was NOT motivated and I can't say I blame him as who is motivated at 7 am? He didn't want to get dressed and so I had to try and dress a child that was ever so resistant. After he got dressed he watched his morning show and ate breakfast.  We missed the bus and today I am really not sure how so I drove him to school and dropped him off. Then I tried to visit the school he might be going to in the Fall but they have to schedule an appointment for a tour. I am nervous about next year and it is extremely important for him to be placed in the right school in order for him to obtain the proper teaching so he can learn. This is such a struggle and it rubs off on every other aspect of my life. Being under the stress has made me exhausted and he has been really over stimulated. It has also been so hard on my daughter and I am not even sure that she knows that I understand. I do understand, sometimes I just can't relate as I am so adjusted to it. Well, I have to share the rest of my day because I really think my son was abducted by aliens!! Seriously, I sent him to school and he was having a rough time but when he came home, he was a completely different child. One very small melt and then he was fine. He went shopping with Krystal and I which was a little rough but that was typical. Helped me through the register and Krystal did all the bagging. She is such a sweetheart. I can't believe that in four days she will be 12 years old. Wow... feels like just yesterday!! He got this slimy stuff that makes weird noises and it occupied him all night. I am pretty certain that the aliens will return my son soon, probably tomorrow, but I have to thank them for giving me some time to re-energize and gain the strength to endure it all again  for another unknown period of time until they come and take him again. LOL