Autism As A Whole

This is Orange Bear

This is a full size pic of the two comfies

Charlie went to school this morning with both of his comfies. Their names are Orange Bear and Doggie. I am on an all out hunt for these poor missing friends of my son's. When he came home from school he did not have them with him. I called the school and they said they were in his backpack, but they were not. I also called the bus company but no luck there either. We have no clue where they are and my son is NOT happy!!! He cried after school and then he was crying at bedtime. I did happen to purchase a spare "Doggie", and I gave it to him, but he wants his old Doggie back. Truth is, so do I!!! The questions remain, "Will he last through the night?, Is he gonna get on the bus in the morning?" These questions will undoubtedly be answered tomorrow. They also result in my desire to reunite Charlie with his comfies. These comfies keep me sane and keep him comfortable.


 As important as they are for him, I want you to understand why they mean so much to me as well. I know I have spoken about his comfies before briefly, but I want to be a little more descriptive. Doggie has been in our house the longest and he was bought when Charlie saw him at a shopping trip. I thought I could get away with buying him a one dollar matchbox but nope, he wanted Doggie. Doggie was a ten dollar dog toy, that is actually a fox (don't tell my son that though). He is very soft and comfy and his head and tail have squeekies in them. Charlie doesn't like that part too much.

You would usually find Doggie wrapped around Charlie's neck. It was Doggies favorite spot and Charlie loved how comfy Doggie was. Doggie kept my house a little calmer and helped Charlie go to sleep easier too. Doggie went everywhere with my son, school, therapy, the store, the park, ect. They share many memories. Just last night Charlie was insistent that Doggie, and Orange Bear needed vitamins as well and they even help him eat his eggs in the morning. They are active members of my household and we want them back.

I have told you the story behind Doggie and feel compelled to share Orange Bears story as well. Orange bear belonged to Charlie's Dad, then his brother and now him. He stumbled upon Orange Bear at the very bottom of his brother's toy box and has been stuck to him ever since. Orange Bear has even gone on the horse with him. He loves him. A good part of this is because he is orange and orange is Charlie's favorite color, but also how soft and comfy he is. Charlie has Sensory Processing Disorder and he really likes soft items. If you have something really comfy and want to keep it in your possession, don't let him see or feel it.

These comfies are like people to Charlie. He talks to them, talks through them and loves them. They sleep, eat, and play with him. They are his best friends. Children on the spectrum tend to find it difficult to gain and maintain friendships. Charlie counters this difficulty with his comfies. He will talk to another child through his comfy. I found this interesting. He is problem solving sort of, cause he is attempting to socialize.  What could have happened to his precious friends is a mystery. Many thoughts wonder in my head. One is that maybe this was the teachers way of finalizing the fact that she didn't want the comfies in school, but I don't want to accuse. It is also possible that the aide put them in the wrong backpack. I like the later explanation better but whatever may have happened I do hope that they will come back home.

If This Is Motherhood recently posted a blog about describing your gifted or special needs child so that it would be easier to explain to the teachers how they can help your child. I thought it would be a great and insightful exercise  to participate in and I encourage others to join along as well. It might be more effective to give the teachers a descriptive of your child to educate them on how to teach them. What do you think? I challenge you to hop on board and join the linksy.

I guess we can't complain about the public school system if we are not willing to look for solutions. I advocate strongly for my son and even though at times I do not feel as if my son's teacher even cares to listen, I know that I have done everything I could do to make his schooling experience as individualized as possible. I gave them the knowledge to teach my son. You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink. If you don't tell them what the child needs then they guess throughout the year. At least I pointed them in the right direction. That is my job, it is their job to follow through on it.

My son is four years old and ... wow, this is harder than I thought. Charles loves to build and do puzzles. He is a visual learner and works best with hands on work. It is best to visually show him what you expect him to do then just give a verbal direction. He needs a lot of redirection. Sometimes it may seem that he is not listening  as he tends to zone off into his safe world. It is beneficial to try to reengage him into the activity. He has a hard time focusing with noises and other things going on. When he is in a large group he feels awkward which causes him to engage in self stimming behaviors such as chewing on his clothes or picking his neck. A lot of redirection and visual cues are detrimental to his learning. Encouragement rather then discouragement. My son wants to interact with other children he just doesn't know how. I find it helpful to encourage him by example. Encourage him to ask for a toy from another child or give him suggestions for conversation. He is a smart and very passive child.

I am not entirely sure if I have done this exercise correctly but I tried. I encourage you to attempt it as well. Enjoy!!
If you choose to join the hop, which I strongly urge you do, click on the linksy!!

Today was a pretty rough day. Charlie woke up and didn't want to got to school. I am not sure that I blame him. He said that his teacher will not allow him to have his comfy at school. While I can try to relate and understand what the teacher is trying to accomplish this is putting an emotional stress on my son. He uses his comfy as a calming technique and although I may not understand it completely, I don't see it harming anything. Earlier this year Charlie started coming home with wounds on his legs, neck or arms. After some thought and investigating we realized he was picking his skin during nap time. Now, he does this at home and we were working on it, but it wasn't occurring at school. I approached the teacher and spoke to her gave a few suggestions while I was at it.

Soon after the teacher stopped nap time, which was when my son was picking, and told him he didn't need to bring his pillowcase into school. I visited the school and observed my son in class. He was sitting in circle time and not participating. They sing certain songs every day so he should know them, and when his classmate went to shake his hand he didn't even reach it out to the kid. The other child actually picked my son's limp hand off his lap and shook it as they said hello to him. Charlie didn't even grin. I then listened as the teacher yelled at my son for chewing on his shirt. I approached the teacher about this at a later time and told her I didn't see a problem with it and unless she was going to redirect him to an acceptable "stim" then leave him alone. The teacher was not happy but I feel as if my son needs this stimulation in order to process what is going on around him. Anyone else have these issues with teachers? What do you feel is acceptable for our children's comfort? I mean this is an integrated special needs school. This teacher is in a setting where she must adapt to the children. I thought. Am I wrong?

Tonight, he came home from school and was not in a good mood at all. He wanted pumpkin pie and well, I didn't have any. Watch for yourself.... I stopped recording after a while because he wasn't calming and I needed to intervene differently, but, in the end he was happy eating an ice cream sandwich and orange sherbert. The funniest thing is I had asked him if he would like that instead like 5 times. Grrrrrr...........