Autism As A Whole

This is Orange Bear

This is a full size pic of the two comfies

Charlie went to school this morning with both of his comfies. Their names are Orange Bear and Doggie. I am on an all out hunt for these poor missing friends of my son's. When he came home from school he did not have them with him. I called the school and they said they were in his backpack, but they were not. I also called the bus company but no luck there either. We have no clue where they are and my son is NOT happy!!! He cried after school and then he was crying at bedtime. I did happen to purchase a spare "Doggie", and I gave it to him, but he wants his old Doggie back. Truth is, so do I!!! The questions remain, "Will he last through the night?, Is he gonna get on the bus in the morning?" These questions will undoubtedly be answered tomorrow. They also result in my desire to reunite Charlie with his comfies. These comfies keep me sane and keep him comfortable.


 As important as they are for him, I want you to understand why they mean so much to me as well. I know I have spoken about his comfies before briefly, but I want to be a little more descriptive. Doggie has been in our house the longest and he was bought when Charlie saw him at a shopping trip. I thought I could get away with buying him a one dollar matchbox but nope, he wanted Doggie. Doggie was a ten dollar dog toy, that is actually a fox (don't tell my son that though). He is very soft and comfy and his head and tail have squeekies in them. Charlie doesn't like that part too much.

You would usually find Doggie wrapped around Charlie's neck. It was Doggies favorite spot and Charlie loved how comfy Doggie was. Doggie kept my house a little calmer and helped Charlie go to sleep easier too. Doggie went everywhere with my son, school, therapy, the store, the park, ect. They share many memories. Just last night Charlie was insistent that Doggie, and Orange Bear needed vitamins as well and they even help him eat his eggs in the morning. They are active members of my household and we want them back.

I have told you the story behind Doggie and feel compelled to share Orange Bears story as well. Orange bear belonged to Charlie's Dad, then his brother and now him. He stumbled upon Orange Bear at the very bottom of his brother's toy box and has been stuck to him ever since. Orange Bear has even gone on the horse with him. He loves him. A good part of this is because he is orange and orange is Charlie's favorite color, but also how soft and comfy he is. Charlie has Sensory Processing Disorder and he really likes soft items. If you have something really comfy and want to keep it in your possession, don't let him see or feel it.

These comfies are like people to Charlie. He talks to them, talks through them and loves them. They sleep, eat, and play with him. They are his best friends. Children on the spectrum tend to find it difficult to gain and maintain friendships. Charlie counters this difficulty with his comfies. He will talk to another child through his comfy. I found this interesting. He is problem solving sort of, cause he is attempting to socialize.  What could have happened to his precious friends is a mystery. Many thoughts wonder in my head. One is that maybe this was the teachers way of finalizing the fact that she didn't want the comfies in school, but I don't want to accuse. It is also possible that the aide put them in the wrong backpack. I like the later explanation better but whatever may have happened I do hope that they will come back home.

Yesterday I went to the elementary school that my son might be attending. I wanted to see the classrooms to get a feel of what type of program they ran. I am really nervous about him slipping through the holes and not receiving the services he needs in order to succeed. I was met with what I perceived as a brick wall at the school. They told me that we had to schedule an appointment (which I was fine with), but it had to be approved of by the school board. What is that all about? I immediately put my guard up. I am sure that most special needs parents have heard of the horrific happenings in school with our children and while it doesn't seem to happen to your child it very well could.

This has always been a concern of mine since my son has a lot of difficulty expressing his needs and often need to be questioned specifically to find out about his day. Therefore if something bad happened at school, I may not find out about it. That concerns me which is why I am implementing the PEC cards and a communication board. At least I know he would have the ability to let me know what he needs as well as if he was injured. That should resolve that issue and so now onto the next one. How do I know that they are going to place him in the proper setting?

Well, the Special Education director called me this morning about my request for a tour. She wanted to ensure that I knew she was also concerned about my son's placement and that they have a very vigorous process for placing children. I will go through this with you as I feel it is a wonderful way of finding the best placement. First off I must state that no one can ensure that the placement of your child is absolutely going to work and there will always be some tweaking to the program. With this in mind, they can do their best to place them in the environment that the team(which includes you), feel is best.

Our school district meets with the Kindergarten teacher in mid January. At this time they arrange for the teacher to go to the Pre-Ks so they can observe the students and report on whether they would be good for their class. Then the parents get to go to the school and observe the classes that best suit their child. In March  there is a Pre-CPSE meeting where everyone discusses the goals and opinions on services and applicable class placement. All opinions are then heard and discussed and a placement is agreed tentatively until the May meeting. Any concerns in between are easy to deal with as they will call another meeting and discuss so that all of the team is together as a team when it comes to the final decision.

The conversation I had today was wonderful. They were prompt on returning my call and they were very clear on the way the process works. She also was very knowledgeable of my son and seemed to really care about his improvement. She also suggested ways to help him at home as well and assured me that while I may feel crazy, I really am on the right track. I think for any parent, it is vital to have open communication with your child's team. It is most successful when you can all work together for the same outcome. I learned a lot in the last four years but I also realized a lot about myself in the last two days.

While I have been advocating for my son diligently. I think I convinced myself that he would start school and everything would just get better. Let me explain, He is four with the functions of a two and a half year old. I had myself so convinced(I think for my own sanity), that he would be at age level and functioning as a typical child once he became school age. I have to stop that thought process as I am expecting way more from the school then my son can perform. They are not miracle workers, they are teachers. If my son is having trouble processing then they can't fix that. But it is an elimination process to find the way to engage him in our world.

It is all a process. Sometimes tiring and exhausting, sometimes making me want to crawl in a hole, but all it takes is that one small thing,(openly giving me a hug, jumping with 2 feet off the ground), that most parents overlook cause they are so common that makes me realize that this is all worth it. He is worth it and I am blessed to have my wonderful children.