Last night as I was doing a little grocery shopping with Chucky and Pumpkin at Hannaford a woman approached me asking about the device my son was playing with. I explained that it was an iPad that he got for Christmas . She asked what it did and inquired if they were for children. I told her that we use it to help him communicate and also to teach him. They are not just for children but many children use them. I did NOT mention that Chucky had Autism. It didn't even cross my mind to tell her this.
I question myself about why I didn't take the opportunity to educate her about my son's diagnosis. Why not educate an open ear? Was it for fear of rejection or maybe just an avoidance of the topic? Although it may have seemed like a perfect situation, at that moment, I didn't need to. He was calm and was watching Curious George. I don't feel there is a need to point out to everyone that he has some difficulties. I want them to know him for who he is and his name is Chucky Cheese not Autism. The woman continued to chat about her son and Curious George and the iPad when my son began flapping and screeching.
It was at that moment that my heart dropped and I felt like I wanted to run in the opposite direction. Instead I tried to calm him and maintain the conversation despite my fear of a rude ignorant comment. I misjudged the woman and I am sorry for that. Instead of making a nasty comment or judging my son she calmly asked me if my son had Autism. Yes, you heard me right. She asked me about my son without coming to her own conclusions and without making false judgement.
This is the first time I have encountered someone that was able to question the behavior without judging my parenting and being critical. My offering the information wasn't needed. While I was cringing and looking for a quick exit she was connecting and inquired. Maybe she saw the instant fear of rejection in my eyes or the look of complete tenderness in my interaction with him, but she got it and was compassionate. I appreciate this and encourage anyone who is unsure about a situation to ask. It feels better than to have someone gawking or making rude comments.
This lady made my day. Not only was she open to attempt to converse with my son but she was also open enough to ask questions. She wanted to know more which is how we spread awareness and how we open the doors to acceptance. The story doesn't end there because she also looked at me and expressed how wonderful she felt I was doing with my son. This made me feel as if I was invincible even if that invincibility only lasted 5 minutes. It was worth it. So, to the woman in Hannaford I must say thank you. You gave me more than you could ever know just by asking a question and exchanging kind words and a smile.
