Children are over rated (comical look into parenting)

I tend to wonder why our children seem to think that we are superior beings because we bear the name "Mom". It would be easy if we would grow arms and eyes and have superhero powers when we have children, but that is not the case. However, our children believe that we are capable of anything.

The definition of motherhood is the kinship relation between an offspring and the mother. The urban dictionary defines it a little better as a warm tingly feeling you get after 10 months and 25 hours of pain blood and suffering, but this only describes the moments after birth. What about the years after birth? They don't mention the craziness you go through on an everyday basis, or the crappy diapers that you have to change at 3 in the morning. It doesn't even include the embarrassing moments that we endure.

For instance, I have never seen a definition of motherhood that mentioned your child asking you questions like,” What is sex?", as you are sitting down at a restaurant eating. Why at those times do their voices seem so much louder and they travel really fast? How about your child that cannot say any words without deleting the first consonant seem to be able to repeat the word shit easily and clearly? This is just the beginning. I feel all of these things should definitely be included in the definition so you can really consider if you can tolerate the job.

You see, Expectant Mother's Magazine seems to portray a cute adorable baby sleeping in it's mother's arms and the mom getting to rest when baby rests but if that was reality, then how the hell would the house be clean? You watch all the old movies that portrays a mom baking fresh cookies for their kids before they got home from school and making a nice breakfast right before school. Well, that was when we didn't have to move so quickly and get a million things done in a short period of time. That was before there were so many broken homes, or at least before it was publicized. They made motherhood seem like a role that every woman would want. It is no wonder our teens feel that they want babies. It is portrayed to be a magnificent thing. I am not saying it is terrible, I am saying I was not prepared. LOL... Nor, did I think I was going to need an instruction manual. Although the way it is now they tell you so many things that you can't do it makes it near impossible to succeed with out a manual, if not a manual a good broad education.

Motherhood compiles all careers in one. You must be a lawyer, to settle all disputes between each child, not to mention the issues with schools, doctors, ect. Speaking of doctors, you play that role too. You have to determine what is wrong with that adorable baby when he is crapping water and puking green stuff all over your nice white couch. What were you thinking having a white couch and still having kids? Just a thought if you are planning on kids, go with a more blending color or a print. At least this way when your child decides to spill his juice on your couch it will blend a little. Oh, back to careers, You must also be a teacher because god knows the times are really changing and criteria for kindergarten is far more than knowing your shapes. Now you must be able to write your name and you might want to start them on addition as that is a basis for kindergarten. You must be a mechanic because kids are not cheap and you can no longer afford to bring your car to the shop.

Well, I could go on but I shall leave it there and say that the definition of motherhood should be an exhausting job that requires you to still perform while receiving little to no recognition and still functioning properly with little to no sleep being able to multi-task during any situation. This includes being a referee to your son in the back seat who has your other son in a headlock while you driving down the freeway to bring your daughter to the doctors. Oh, did I mention that you were running late because your son decided to pee his pants as you were walking out the door. Raising children is such a rewarding job but it is not always a happy one.

Onto the requirements. You must be able to put your life in a box that may never be opened again. You have to gain patience that will be amazingly unreal. You must be able to accept criticism as everyone will try to tell you how to raise them including people that have no kids of their own and those who will compare child rearing to dog training. Life as you once knew it has now become a completely different world. Isn’t about you anymore, it is about the little miracles you brought into this world. Life is now about advocating and being strong even when you do not feel as if you can do it any more. My thoughts are that all of the above along with whatever else might fall in between should be included in the definition of motherhood.