Motherhood's Definition of Alone

Image by Frozen in Time Photographers via Flickr

Last night I sat in my house with no children. I know, amazing right? I sat here all night pondering on what to do with my time. Wondering how other Moms deal with this situation. Where has my life gone? Why is it that we want alone time but once we get it we spend our time thinking about the little boogers we needed time away from? I mean, after we tidy up all their messes that they left behind, organizing their games, making their beds, we sit wondering if they miss us.

Pondering about what they are doing. Are they thinking about us? I actually found myself stunned and confused at what I was to do with my time. I could sit down and write, amazingly without interruptions, but I was drawing blanks. I didn't have any huge accomplishments to write about for the day or even a miserable screaming child to rant about. So, the question remains, What am I to do with my "alone time"? I guess it really isn't alone time. They are still in my head and thoughts.

Image via WikipediaIt was then my realization that my children are my inspiration. They give me the drive to wake up in the morning, make breakfast, etc. No, etc. is not an abbreviation for the Excedrin that we need throughout the day. LOL They give me all the material I need to write my blog. What better to write about then all the interesting, and in my case, odd dilemmas my family experiences? Where would Autism As A Whole be without my four children? What would I do without them? I probably would not be the same person I am today.

 Although with them away for a couple nights, I am able to put more thoughts together for the next week. It does give me some time to manage all the anxiety that comes with the job. I could prepare myself for the week ahead including trying to predict when melt downs will occur. I know I know, now that is an absurd thought!! But, hey I have nothing to do but sit here and think. That could be trouble. Well, I could do more constructive things like put the movies in ABC order, but that won't matter cause it wouldn't last long.

I think I need my kids home, NOW!!!! I never thought I would beg for that but I am pleading. Come home soon I miss you. I know for sure that within two hours of having them back I will probably be ready for them to go away again and I will need to read this post to refresh my memory of my "alone time". I have gotten used to the chaos and it is an active member of my household. So, I welcome the chaos back and beg my children to come back home.

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