Saturday, January 22, 2011

A Little Resolve

Well, to ease my frustration just a little the school board called. I am not entirely sure if this means anything but, we shall wait and see. I explained, yet again, what my concerns and issues were and they pacified listened to me while expressing their understanding my concerns. I had already written out my letter regarding the problems I was encountering. I still have decided to send the letter out. Due to all the snow issues it is going in the mail on Monday. Actually I think I will drop them off at the district office and request that they be stamped as received. I have kept copies of the scripts from the pediatrician and the letter to ensure that there is a paper trail.

The school board stated that they were sending an email to the OT at my son's school demanding that he receive therapy immediately which is a step forward. While the Occupational therapist has been taking some time for Buddy, and I told the board this, he is not receiving the therapy that his 504 plan entails. The lady I spoke with said she didn't care that the therapist was helping him, she wanted them to abide by his plan which would give him individualized one on one OT. This made me smile. I felt like maybe, and I may be leaping into the dark abyss, I was not fighting this alone. I think I may have someone backing me that has authority.

I also took the time to explain the custody agreement and how we make this Co- Parenting work. While Buddy's father is good at some things, when it comes to advocacy and school meetings, I am more aware and I deal with those issues. I am not saying that he isn't trying to be involved in those areas but he doesn't understand them. I might add that sometimes I feel as if I am really going easy on him and his lack of participation regarding this.

He himself was totally unaware of the school problems. You would think that Buddy's report card, that was NEVER mailed to me, would reflect these difficulties. The teacher stated that she spoke to him several times on the phone, but he does not remember this. I am now changing the way I deal with it all and while my day is overflowing with the responsibilities for my youngest son, I am now taking full responsibilities for my oldest son as well. This might seem confusing as it really has always been my job as his mother.

Buddy and Chipmunk live with their Dad due to some issues with my youngest's father. I wanted to bring them back to my home but with all the issues surrounding Chucky it just didn't seem fair. Chucky was very aggressive as he was entirely non-verbal , so we decided to maintain their schools in his district and have joint custody. Buddy would visit and leave my house with bruises and terrorized by his brother. This has seemed to work although I miss having my babies home with me all the time.  When the children lived with me, I was responsible for all school issues. He didn't attend the meetings and he was totally uninvolved with the early intervention Buddy was receiving. Thia didn't concern or bother me because they were always with me and it was quite evident what they needed. I assumed that because they lived primarily with me it was my sole responsibility to ensure their needs were met.

I think I got so caught up in Chucky's needs that are right in my face that I tried to allow Buddy's father to take some of the responsibility that I was always liable for.  I see now that that may not have been the best thing to do. When it comes down to it, I guess in a round about way I am responsible for the lack of communication with the school. I could have been calling them and pushing for his needs. Instead I was communicating with their father thinking that everything was fine, but knowing how poorly he is with any form of advocating. I miss being as involved as I was and I am going to change that. I have called my children's teachers and requested to speak to them. I will make this work for the better. I will turn this around. It is my hope that maybe through observation he may learn how to do this and pick up a few skills, but in the end, I have to advocate for my children. I have to ensure they get what they need.  I am MOM.
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