The holidays are here and that can be really hard. It is overwhelming for me as a parent so I can't imagine how my son perceives it. I know the pain that hits your heart when a child you love so much seems so far away. I know what it feels like to get them a present you know they would love and not even have the recognition of a smile or hug. I know because I live with it everyday and in the begining I was just like all of the outsiders in my life. They don't live it and understand it. They haven't been around it long enough and I can understand their feelings.
While I can understand it I do have to say that in no way does that condone shunning a child. They do have feeling but it is harder for them to explain them. They are happy with the spinning top that I am sure he will play with for hours nonstop. Please take the time to enter into their zone. It may be easier for them to let you in. Try taking them to a quiet place and show them how to use their new toy. Try to join them in however they want to play. Basically, Just try!!!
Here is a poem that someone posted on Facebook and I thought it was fitting.
Autism Night Before Christmas
by Cindy Waeltermann
Twas the Night Before Christmas
And all through the house
The creatures were stirring
... Yes, even the mouse
We tried melatonin
And gave a hot bath
But the holiday jitters
They always distract
The children were finally
All nestled in bed
When nightmares of terror
Ran through my OWN head
Did I get the right gift
The right color
And style
Would there be a tantrum
Or even, maybe, a smile?
Our relatives come
But they don’t understand
The pleasure he gets
Just from flapping his hands.
“He needs discipline,” they say
“Just a well-needed smack,
You must learn to parent…”
And on goes the attack
We smile and nod
Because we know deep inside
The argument is moot
Let them all take a side
We know what it’s like
To live with the spectrum
The struggles and triumphs
Achievements, regressions…
But what they don’t know
And what they don’t see
Is the joy that we feel
Over simplicity
He said “hello”
He ate something green!
He told his first lie!
He did not cause a scene!
He peed on the potty
Who cares if he’s ten,
He stopped saying the same thing
Again and again!
Others don't realize
Just how we can cope
How we bravely hang on
A the end of our rope
But what they don’t see
Is the joy we can’t hide
When our children with autism
Make the tiniest stride
We may look at others
Without the problems we face
With jealousy, hatred
Or even distaste,
But what they don’t know
Nor sometimes do we
Is that children with autism
Bring simplicity.
We don’t get excited
Over expensive things
We jump for joy
With the progress work brings
Children with autism
Try hard every day
That they make us proud
More than words can say.
They work even harder
Than you or I
To achieve something small
To reach a star in the sky
So to those who don’t get it
Or can’t get a clue
Take a walk in my shoes
And I’ll assure you
That even 10 minutes
Into the walk
You’ll look at me
With respect, even shock.
You will realize
What it is I go through
And the next time you judge
I can assure you
That you won’t say a thing
You’ll be quiet and learn,
Like the years that I did
When the tables were turned.
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