Many people lately keep asking me How do you do it? I actually had someone tell me that if they had a child like my son they would have already dropped him off with his father and told him they would be back in a couple years. This was appalling to me but also makes me realize how strong you become when you have a special needs child. Everything you may have thought you couldn't do you find yourself doing.
This post was supposed to be about potty training and then it turned into something entirely different but I think that is OK. As parents of children with special needs, we have to change plans quickly. We have to come up with alternate plans and unorthodox ways of doing things. We have to accept that our way may not be the only way. Most of the time, we have to let the child teach us how to teach them. They have to take the lead.
I think they bring us into their world. A world that we have never experienced. A world that is amazing to them. A world where everything makes sense to them. I love learning about my son's world. I love it when he allows me to join him and learn with him. It makes you expand your horizons and constantly look for new methods to make things easier. They can feel, see, and hear all the hectic and chaotic things in life that we have seem to have become numb to. They can appreciate the smaller gratitudes that happen every day.
Being a mother means having unconditional love. It saddens me that some people have children, realize they are different than most, and never challenge them. They instantly lose hope for this child. They need to be challenged, they need to know that you hold the same expectations for them as you do any other child. They need love. Not love from therapists, and providers, but love from their parents. I see all the down syndrome babies that are in orphanages and it makes me cry. Do these parents even realize what they are missing out on? Becoming a parent shouldn't depend on whether the child is typical, or what struggles you might endure. It should be about giving that child everything you can give them. Every tool that they could need to succeed.
So, to the person who told me that she wouldn't do my job, I pity her. She will never know the love that I know. She will never know how it feels to watch her child struggle so much to accomplish the littlest of tasks. She will never know the joy that comes from that either. The unconditional, heart wrenching, tiring, love that binds my children and I as one. I am glad that I can be that mom. I am glad to have my children and I will never be ashamed of them. I know one day my children will be spectacular beings, doing spectacular things. I have faith in them.
This post was supposed to be about potty training and then it turned into something entirely different but I think that is OK. As parents of children with special needs, we have to change plans quickly. We have to come up with alternate plans and unorthodox ways of doing things. We have to accept that our way may not be the only way. Most of the time, we have to let the child teach us how to teach them. They have to take the lead.
I think they bring us into their world. A world that we have never experienced. A world that is amazing to them. A world where everything makes sense to them. I love learning about my son's world. I love it when he allows me to join him and learn with him. It makes you expand your horizons and constantly look for new methods to make things easier. They can feel, see, and hear all the hectic and chaotic things in life that we have seem to have become numb to. They can appreciate the smaller gratitudes that happen every day.
Being a mother means having unconditional love. It saddens me that some people have children, realize they are different than most, and never challenge them. They instantly lose hope for this child. They need to be challenged, they need to know that you hold the same expectations for them as you do any other child. They need love. Not love from therapists, and providers, but love from their parents. I see all the down syndrome babies that are in orphanages and it makes me cry. Do these parents even realize what they are missing out on? Becoming a parent shouldn't depend on whether the child is typical, or what struggles you might endure. It should be about giving that child everything you can give them. Every tool that they could need to succeed.
So, to the person who told me that she wouldn't do my job, I pity her. She will never know the love that I know. She will never know how it feels to watch her child struggle so much to accomplish the littlest of tasks. She will never know the joy that comes from that either. The unconditional, heart wrenching, tiring, love that binds my children and I as one. I am glad that I can be that mom. I am glad to have my children and I will never be ashamed of them. I know one day my children will be spectacular beings, doing spectacular things. I have faith in them.
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