I take a lot of pictures. I just love doing it. I love being able to look back and see where my children were and where they are now. It is difficult to gauge it when you are constantly in their presence. Ever notice how your closest friends who see you on an every day basis may not notice any weight loss or gain but when you see someone you don't see often they will notice it? That is how it is with our children as well. We keep a wall in our home where we measure the children's height. It is amazing to see how much they really have grown over the years!
I have been watching Chucky Cheese very closely lately. I watch the way he walks, the way his nose wiggles when he sleeps, the look on his face when he is excited. I am just completely awed at how strong and adorable he is. But, what I don't see so well, unless it is pointed out, is the losses he is obtaining. I think I try to overlook all of that. Not that it isn't being addressed, because we regularly go to the doctors and many specialists, but, I can't focus on it. I need to keep moving forward and enjoy him for who he is. This whole thing can be pretty depressing.
I got a phone call the other day when C.C. was at his dad's house. It was a friend who was a little concerned. She had seen my son walking with his dad but he was walking much slower. You know the picture, the dad has the child's hand and the child appears to be being pulled along behind them. C.C. is NOT supposed to be walking long distances. She was aware of that but it wasn't the main concern. She asked me if I had noticed his legs seem to be very skinny now. I know he looks thinner but she was saying his legs seem much thinner than the rest of him. I know in my heart she is right. I know that when I look back at the pictures I will see the same thing. I know that his legs are almost always multi-colored (bruised) anymore because of him falling so often. But thinner, I am having a hard time browsing through photos to even compare.
Which is why I decided to write this post. If I do it this way I don't feel so alone. Maybe it wont hurt so bad. Maybe, I will hear some supportive words and encouragement. Just maybe.....
I have been watching Chucky Cheese very closely lately. I watch the way he walks, the way his nose wiggles when he sleeps, the look on his face when he is excited. I am just completely awed at how strong and adorable he is. But, what I don't see so well, unless it is pointed out, is the losses he is obtaining. I think I try to overlook all of that. Not that it isn't being addressed, because we regularly go to the doctors and many specialists, but, I can't focus on it. I need to keep moving forward and enjoy him for who he is. This whole thing can be pretty depressing.
I got a phone call the other day when C.C. was at his dad's house. It was a friend who was a little concerned. She had seen my son walking with his dad but he was walking much slower. You know the picture, the dad has the child's hand and the child appears to be being pulled along behind them. C.C. is NOT supposed to be walking long distances. She was aware of that but it wasn't the main concern. She asked me if I had noticed his legs seem to be very skinny now. I know he looks thinner but she was saying his legs seem much thinner than the rest of him. I know in my heart she is right. I know that when I look back at the pictures I will see the same thing. I know that his legs are almost always multi-colored (bruised) anymore because of him falling so often. But thinner, I am having a hard time browsing through photos to even compare.
Which is why I decided to write this post. If I do it this way I don't feel so alone. Maybe it wont hurt so bad. Maybe, I will hear some supportive words and encouragement. Just maybe.....
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