I know my blog posts have not been steady but as most of my readers know, times get tough and it is hard to find the moment to be able to sit down and pull all your thoughts together to blog. I do a lot of my venting on Facebook and diary entries on my son's page. That works for me cause usually there is someone online to relate and comfort when I need that.
Chucky Cheese has been having some terrible meltdowns but he really loves his school. I often get asked how I manage it all and I honesty am not sure. I think it is a question many of us get asked by those who can see and acknowledge the problems. Then there are those who do not understand and tell you it can't be that bad. I don't wish my path on anyone but as I heard from another parent, I wouldn't trade it either.
Last night I went to an Autism Spectrum Disorder Parent Support Group. I typically go to the day groups but decided I needed to go. I am very glad I did. Did you know that the process of accepting a child with a disability is very similar to that of losing a loved one? I remember feeling scared and a little lost at first but I think I skipped the denial phase and I even skipped the loss feeling.
I was having so many issues with him that by the time they were listening and diagnosed I had already accepted it. Maybe I just had to do it this way to hold it together. I was angry, not at my boys but a little at myself and a lot at the life that they had been given. But.. I do know that it could be worse and that put all my feeling in check.
With Buddy, it was much harder and it left me feeling guilty and I was confused as to why it hurt so much more. But again, I moved right past that into "Fix mode". What could I do to help them. I needed to get services in place.. ect. I was aware of the grief cycle but never really thought about it in terms of my children's diagnosis. Where are you in this cycle and how long has it been since diagnosis?
The other thing that was mentioned was how we need to spend time for ourselves not so much as moms and dads , but as people. Touch base with your feelings about it and try not to bury them under all the attention that is surrounding your child(ren). You need to feel and that helps you heal. It is ok and very normal to throw everything into your child when they are diagnosed and find all the services you can. This can also cause you to shove your feeling and emotions down so you don't have to deal with them. Eventually I am certain they will surface. It is hard and I have times that I am very angry and I have a short temper with people who are close to me because in the back of my head I know they will not leave me.
I have realized that I do not want a cure for my boys, I don't want to fix them, I just want them to learn how to cope and become independent people. They have a lot of potential and I want to encourage that. I want to teach them the strength that they taught me. Next to patience, strength is the biggest lesson I learned. If they can be strong and still smile regardless of what is going on around them then so can I. Now that things have calmed a little I think I might take the time to cry, feel and deal with all the emotions I have buried under this rubble called life.
Chucky Cheese has been having some terrible meltdowns but he really loves his school. I often get asked how I manage it all and I honesty am not sure. I think it is a question many of us get asked by those who can see and acknowledge the problems. Then there are those who do not understand and tell you it can't be that bad. I don't wish my path on anyone but as I heard from another parent, I wouldn't trade it either.Last night I went to an Autism Spectrum Disorder Parent Support Group. I typically go to the day groups but decided I needed to go. I am very glad I did. Did you know that the process of accepting a child with a disability is very similar to that of losing a loved one? I remember feeling scared and a little lost at first but I think I skipped the denial phase and I even skipped the loss feeling.
I was having so many issues with him that by the time they were listening and diagnosed I had already accepted it. Maybe I just had to do it this way to hold it together. I was angry, not at my boys but a little at myself and a lot at the life that they had been given. But.. I do know that it could be worse and that put all my feeling in check.With Buddy, it was much harder and it left me feeling guilty and I was confused as to why it hurt so much more. But again, I moved right past that into "Fix mode". What could I do to help them. I needed to get services in place.. ect. I was aware of the grief cycle but never really thought about it in terms of my children's diagnosis. Where are you in this cycle and how long has it been since diagnosis?
The other thing that was mentioned was how we need to spend time for ourselves not so much as moms and dads , but as people. Touch base with your feelings about it and try not to bury them under all the attention that is surrounding your child(ren). You need to feel and that helps you heal. It is ok and very normal to throw everything into your child when they are diagnosed and find all the services you can. This can also cause you to shove your feeling and emotions down so you don't have to deal with them. Eventually I am certain they will surface. It is hard and I have times that I am very angry and I have a short temper with people who are close to me because in the back of my head I know they will not leave me.
I have realized that I do not want a cure for my boys, I don't want to fix them, I just want them to learn how to cope and become independent people. They have a lot of potential and I want to encourage that. I want to teach them the strength that they taught me. Next to patience, strength is the biggest lesson I learned. If they can be strong and still smile regardless of what is going on around them then so can I. Now that things have calmed a little I think I might take the time to cry, feel and deal with all the emotions I have buried under this rubble called life.
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